Monday, October 13, 2014

But I Don't LIKE Detentions!

In my job as a high school secretary, many students come in and out of the office every day.

Sometimes they come for routine reasons - buying a parking pass, looking for a lost item, getting permission to do this or that. Some come just to say hello...and to get a pice of candy from then secretaries. Those are enjoyable interactions.

Other students come for reasons that are far from fun - like those who are in trouble for getting into a fight or swearing at a teacher. The principals deal with those situations, and I handle the paperwork.

Image found here.
I guess "Detention" actually was
a short-lived cartoon series some time ago.
Then there are those in-between situations in which a student is in trouble for a minor infraction. The secretaries themselves handle those. I had one of those situations today. Our school, for the first year, is requiring students and staff alike to wear ID badges at school. We have temporary sticker IDs if they forget the badge. When a student has forgotten his or her ID three times, I have to issue a detention.

A girl today had reached that point, and I called her to the office to give her a detention. Now this girl has received detentions before fore skipping classes...and has yet to serve even one of them. I told her that she really did need to serve the detention. Her response, "But I don't like detentions."

Hmmmm. Many thoughts flew through my head that I did not allow to fly out of my mouth. I kept a smile on my face and replied that no one LIKES to serve detentions. Of course not.

Basically, no one LIKES discipline of any kind. It's not supposed to be enjoyable.
  • No one LIKES to pay parking tickets...or speeding tickets.
  • No one LIKES to pay library fines.
  • No one LIKES to have their paycheck docked for being late to work.
  • And the list goes on...
All these things fall in the category of discipline designed to cause people to make good choices and be responsible, so they don't have to suffer the consequences of doing wrong. When the discipline is applied, a person, hopefully, thinks twice before once again speeding down the highway, parking illegally, being careless with due dates, or oversleeping.

My young friend today, realistically, will probably not serve this detention either, and a more severe discipline will await her in the future. For now, she seems to think that any discipline she is given is really the fault of the secretary or the principal. Rules don't apply to her, so neither does discipline.

She has not yet learned the lesson that discipline is actually meant for her good, and that it is something from which she can learn a valuable lesson. I hope one day soon, she will come to realize this truth.

But to be honest, am I any better? Are you?

Image found here
I remember years ago when I got a speeding ticket for going 45 in a 25 MPH zone. It was a four-lane, wide, straight road that didn't look like it should have been 45 MPH. In my heart of hearts, I tried to blame it on the situation, and the "unreasonable" speed limit. It was the fault of someone or something else. Not really my fault.

Of course, it WAS my fault. I broke the law, and I deserved the consequence. I paid the ticket, though, and you'd better believe I slowed down on that stretch of road in the future. The discipline did its intended work.

I think that we all tend to blame others rather than take responsibility for our actions. This holds true not only for traffic tickets and library fines, but also for the natural consequences that occur in our relationships when we neglect, misuse, or abuse those around us. Those natural consequences are another form of discipline God uses to bring us back where we need to be...if we let it do so.

Unfortunately, when relationships get messed up because we did or said something hurtful, our first instinct often is to push the blame onto the other person rather than take responsibility for our part of the problem.

It is easy to look at the high school girl who complains about "not liking detentions" and feel somewhat superior to her. The fact is that even though the discipline God uses with me takes a different form than detentions, I don't like discipline any more than she does.

After all, God's Word tells us this.
At the time, discipline isn’t much fun. It always feels like it’s going against the grain. (Hebrews 12:11a The Message)
That is not the end of the story, though. The same verse goes on to say this.
Later, of course, it pays off handsomely, for it’s the well-trained who find themselves mature in their relationship with God. (Hebrews 12:11 The Message)
The question is this. Will I receive God's discipline - whatever form it takes - with a humble heart? Will I learn from it, grow from it, and be better for it? Or will I try to shift the blame somewhere else, refuse the lesson, and fail to grow.

The choice is mine. The choice is yours. So what will it be.

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